


Holy Water Won't Save You Now

by dukecaboom420



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Demon Shane Madej, Demons, Eventual Smut, Gay, Ghosts, Horror, M/M, Oblivious Ryan Bergara, Protective Shane Madej, Romance, Sadly, Slow Burn, kinda horror I think, no sex so far, probably romance too, probably some dick sucking idk, spooky shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-03 15:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19466857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dukecaboom420/pseuds/dukecaboom420
Summary: As Shane and Ryan continue their famous investigation into the question: are ghosts real? Things go down, and their relationship is put to the test when Shane is forced to reveal a dark secret about his life.





	1. Chapter 1

“Come on Shane, we don’t have all day. Just suck it up,” Ryan said opening the car door, stepping out into the church parking lot.

“I don’t like churches, they give me the creeps,” Shane sighed, “But if you really want me too, I guess I’ll go.”  
They walked in side by side, just as the church bells rang, signaling that the hour had just changed. In about five hours the boys would be boarding their plane to New York, Ryan noted. He was not ready for this investigation. Even though he knew Shane would never let anything happen to him, no one could protect him from demons.

“Hello Ryan, I have your holy water,” Father Thomas said, holding out a flask. “Please, though I know you,” he looked sharply at Shane, which was well deserved. He was an idiot. “May not listen, be careful, these things are not to be messed with.” Ryan took the container and thanked the priest, while Shane just nodded. Usually he would make some witty remark, but restrained himself.

"Oh, Ryan,” He grabbed Ryan’s arm, pulling him away from Shane. The priest kept his tone low so only he could hear, “Keep a close eye on your friend.” The priest lifted a finger to Shane, who was looking out a window, detached from the conversation. 

As they both looked up to gaze at the tall man, they noticed blood starting to run out his nose. It was a bit strange, a pastor giving an ominous warning about someone, then that same person’s nose starts bleeding? He hadn’t seen Shane get a nose bleed before, making the whole situation weirder. Something seemed off to Ryan, but he brushed it off. This was Shane! He probably smacked his dumb head on the ceiling from being too tall. 

Ryan just shook the thought from his mind. Smiling, he responded, “Thank you father, I will, you don’t need to be worrying about him, though. Me on the other hand… Pray for me that I don’t get killed.” Thomas laughed without much joy, and nodded. He was serious about this, which only scared Ryan more.

Shane’s sleeve was catching most of the blood, smearing it onto his lips and face. It wasn’t a really pretty sight as he tried his best not to bleed on the pavement of the church parking lot.

“I think I have some tissues in my car. Does it hurt?”

“I’m fine, Ryan. Don’t worry about it, it’s probably just the stuffy church air,” He waved his bloodied hand towards the short man, trying to seem cool about the situation. It was as if he was waving away the question.

“That looks pretty bad, Shane.” He said as he unlocked the car, and pointed to the glove box. Shane sat down and opened it, setting the small pack of tissues on his lap before closing the nod back up.

“Gross church air, dude. Or allergies…I don’t know. Do you think it was a ghost? A ghost horny for my nose bleeds?” He teased, fixing up his bloodied face.

Ryan laughed, “I don’t think ghosts can be in churches, like unless they’re holy or something.”

“I mean…lots of crazy stuff can get into churches. You just went into one.” He cleaned up his face, only leaving the slight smell of blood and a reddish smear in his stubble. “There, now ghosts can’t be horny because of my nose.”

“Alright dumbass, let’s get to the plane.” He said through a nervous chuckle, but his thoughts still lingered.

-

“This week on buzzfeed unsolved we investigate The Amityville House, as part of our ongoing investigation into the question: Are ghosts real?”

Shane always rolled his eyes, or shook his head at the camera. It was kind of an unspoken routine that always made Ryan smile when he went back to edit the camera footage. 

“Thirty miles out of New York City sits the house affectionately named, ‘America’s most haunted house'-"

Shane interrupted his Intro, and Ryan braced himself to be verbally smacked by his comment. “Of course it's in New York! New York’s a scary place, man. Like have you seen the people this place makes? Frightening.”

“You should be saying that about Chicago, I mean there’s got to be something in the water that gave you such a bulbous head.”

“I prefer the term ‘bodacious’, Ryan.”

Ryan gently punched Shane in the shoulder as he wheezed. The kind of wheeze that made Shane stifle a cute chuckle. “You’re an idiot.”

Ryan finished up the beginning of the video, and after a few drinks at The Revolution Bar, where they were filming the intro, the two boys loaded cameras back into the car before grabbing the rest of their gear they would need, and heading to ‘America’s most haunted house’.

It was a pretty cold autumn day in New York, but nothing the ghoul boys couldn’t bare with. After you dress up like a cowboy in the heat of an Arizona night, nothing can really phase you anymore. Well…nothing weather related. 

The house looked like any other house on the block. This neighborhood looked neat and tidy, the Amityville house blending right in with the others. It was a large building, the outside painted with a cream colored shade. The shingles where light brown, complementing the colors. 

Shane looked at the building solemnly. His normal, mocking tone seemed to have been shed for the time being. He looked so serious as he scanned through the windows, trying to take in as much as possible before entering. It was always good to get a first glance, so he could expect what’s to come. 

“You spacing out there, dude?” He asked shakily, he was always really nervous before demon related shenanigans. 

Shane looked at him with a shrug. “Maybe I’m having an epiphany, and you just ruined my most important moment in my life.”

Ryan giggled at his sarcasm before pulling up his phone and reading what he had wrote down. “I think that the only life changing moment you’ll have, is when you believe in ghosts at the end of tonight.”

“That’s a very bold claim, Bergara!”

“It’s a very haunted house, Madej."

-

The night before at the bar, Ryan told Shane about the tragedy that came with the home. It has a very rich history. Supposedly it was built on cursed Indian land. President Washington even stayed here a night while adventuring New York.

But in 1970 something, a man killed his entire family while claiming to be possessed by something. He killed 6 people, before dying in prison. Some say his spirit still haunts the home. 

Entering the loft, Ryan shuddered. This place just gave off a sickening energy that almost made Ryan vomit from anxiety. Shane watched as he held his vile of holy water in the hand that wasn’t holding a camera. 

“Ooh, holy water in the first minute. You look like you’re about to piss yourself. What are you so scared about? It’s a nice house!” The tall man gestured to the large loft, he wasn’t wrong. It was a very nice house. 

“Shut up Shane. If I think about pissing my pants I probably will. And I only have one pair of jeans!” He whined, resisting the urge to punch Shane for teasing him. He laughed at the coward before continuing into the kitchen where they continued their conversation. 

“I don’t think holy water will help you here, buddy. If a priest got slapped by a demon while trying to exorcise the place, I think it could slap you even if you had holy water.”

Ryan paused for a moment. How could Shane have known that a priest got slapped here by something nonexistent? He never shared that information with him. At least, he hadn’t yet.

“How do you know about the priest getting slapped? I didn’t tell you about it. And demon? Why not a ghost?”

Shane seemed thrown off guard by the question, but he was quick to push out a lie. “I think I read it somewhere…maybe on a forum or something. And I just think it’s funnier to imagine a demon slapping the shit out of a priest, you know?”

He lifted his hand and swung it near Ryan’s face, pretending he was going to slap him, close enough to make him flinch. Clapping his hands with a “wapoosh” to imitate the sound of the slap. He was chuckling. “Besides, I don’t think a ghost could do that. Because they’re fake.” 

Ryan didn’t laugh at his jokes. He wanted to feel protected with his holy water. Plus, Shane never did any research on the places before they would go ghost hunting. Hell, the guy barely read anything, something strange was clearly afoot. 

They continued their ghost hunt as usual, Ryan flipping out over dumb things, like creaky floorboards, and Shane making fun of him every time he jumped. But as they made their way to the bedroom of Ronnie, the infamous killer, a cold air washed over them. Trying to lighten the mood, Shane quipped, “If our good ol’ boy George Washington once stayed here, ya think he left some of his DNA here, if you know what I mean.”

“Are you making a masturbation joke about one of our founding fathers?” Ryan asked, lightening up a bit.

“Yes,” Shane deadpanned, causing Ryan to laugh harder. “How about we do a solo session in Georgie’s wank room?” He suggested, not sensing anything off about the room, so he figured it’d be fine.

Shane went in first. “Well demons, it’s just me and you, feel free to murder me or whatever, you know, all that fun stuff.” He sighed, no demons were here today, maybe a couple of ghosts, but nothing Shane couldn’t handle. He continued to taunt the ‘demons’, making sure to be extra descriptive to put on a good show for the viewers, but ultimately, nothing of interest happened.

As he left, he whispered quietly enough so that the microphone couldn’t pick it up, “If any of you hurt Ryan, I’m gonna give you hell.” He walked out to Ryan, and patted him firmly on the back, “Your turn bud, the ghosts were very enthused about both Washington’s jizz, and getting to spook you.”

Shane watched as Ryan nervously walked into the room, muttering something along the lines of, “I hate you so much.” He chuckled as Ryan shut the door. Shane, waited for a few minutes, and then spoke into the camera, “I bet Ryan’s in there, shitting his pants over an owl or something dumb like that, the usual things the Ryan we all know and love does."

Just as he finished his sentence, all of the color drained from Shane's skin as a sceam echoed through the whole house.


	2. Chapter 2

“I hate you so much,” Ryan muttered while he walked into the room, trembling as he shut the door behind him. Even though nothing had really happened during the night, he was still on edge, considering this was one of the most haunted places in America. He sighed and pulled out the spirit box from his coat. 

The room was large and empty, sporting drywall that was decorated with some kind of ornate, flowery wallpaper. It would have been pretty, if it wasn’t rotting, poorly lit, and beginning to peel in some places. If Ryan had no impulse control, he would’ve ripped the room to shreds in attempt to relive some childhood nostalgia of opening a present on Christmas Day. But he didn’t. It could anger some ghosts. 

The only thing this musty, old, grayscale room really could have going for it was a window that was, like the rest of the room, decaying. He wasn’t even sure if he could open the window, it seemed like it was rusted shut. Besides, no one would want to let the cold New York rain enter the building and tear a hole in the fragile floor. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use something that can hopefully help you guys communicate with me if you want, if you don’t that’s fine too,” he said, secretly hoping that nothing would happen. Despite how much he wanted to prove ghosts existed, he didn’t really want any demons or vengeful spirits from this house to try and mess with him tonight.

“My name is Ryan Bergara, and I want to communicate with the spirits here. Could you say my name back so I know you want to talk to me?”

After a moment of loud static, a voice broke through nearly knocking Ryan over with shock. “Ryan,” It cackled at him loudly. This was the first time ghost ever responded with his name. This had to prove it to Shane!

He then went on, asking the usual questions such as, “Why are you here?”, “Who are you?” And “Do you live here?” but got no clear response. In an attempt to make himself less scared he joked, “Did George Washington really jack off in here?”

“Yes,” A distorted voice responded from the box.

Ryan just snorted and giggled, extremely glad and satisfied with himself that he caught that on recording. Glad to see the tourmented ghosts of murder victims have a sense of humor. 

Then came a loud bang, and the air grew cooler. With fear? Or maybe something changed the temperature deliberately, he didn’t know. Ryan looked around, but couldn’t seem to find the source of the noise. “Shane?”

He hoped that it was just Shane dicking around, but instead, a large murky shadow developed in the corner. Ryan froze. As his eyes analyzed it he saw the figure was covered in a long black coat. He couldn’t make out a face, but he sure as hell could scream. 

“Ryan?” He could hear Shane yelling as his friend banged on the door, but he couldn’t respond. He was paralyzed by this figure. The short man felt his stomach drop as the ghost seemed to take a step towards him. It’s footsteps made no noise as it moved. 

There was always a part of him that didn’t want to believe in ghosts. As much as he would love to see the look on Shane’s face if he actually admitted to their existence, what if he lost his life in trying to do so? 

The spirit box began to speak once more, spitting out robotic responses through its constant static. “…He’s here…” it sputtered to the quivering man. It’s words only piled onto the thick feeling of doom that hung in the air.

Ryan shoved the spirit box into his coat pocket as it continued to whirr with white noise. With his free hand, took the flask of holy water from his pocket and pointed it at the shadowy presence in the corner of the room. At this moment, Shane opened the door and nearly blinded Ryan with his flashlight. 

His face was pale with worry for his friend before he looked to his left,the direction Ryan was facing towards, and snorted loudly- as if someone had cracked a joke. The two boys found themselves looking at an empty stick of a coat rack that was stuffed away in the corner of the room. 

He almost fell over from laughing so hard, taking a second to catch his breath he looked up at his ghost- believing friend. “You-“ Shane snorted once more before collecting himself. “You almost shit your pants over a coat rack?! Haha!” He could barely speak through his laughter. 

Ryan didn’t think it was funny. He was trembling as he stood clutching the glass container. Shane watched as Ryan began to blush with embarrassment, regaining some of his color. 

“I-it…just looked so real!” He blurted over the spirit box before it spoke once more. This time, it was more direct and harsh command instead of a warning. 

“Run…”

“I can’t believe you, Ryan! You’re so paranoid even a shadow in the corner could make you nervous! It’s just a house. A coat rack isn’t going to kill you!” Shane snorted at Ryan, but Ryan was more focused on the figure behind Shane. 

The same thing from before was looming behind Ryan, it’s eyes fixated on Shane. It was far enough to elude Shane’s detention, but Ryan could see it. Before thinking, Ryan pelted the glass flask of holy water at the figure. 

Shane didn’t have enough time to react. 

And Ryan didn’t have a very good aim. 

The bottle slammed into the doorframe residing just above Shane’s head, and pelted him with shards of glass and drippings of Blessed water. He was gripped his head and almost doubled over in pain, as he expelled surprised noise that morphed into a pained scream. He held his head in his hands, squatting with the majority of his weight being against the wall. 

“S-Shane?” Ryan ran to his friends side and crouched down to his level, the spirit box still alive in his back pocket. He removed Shane’s head from his hands so he could get a better look at Shane’s wounds…but he had none. It didn’t appear that he was cut by glass on the face, but he did look ghastly pale and dabbled with moisture. 

Without a warning, Shane grabbed onto the harness that held a camera to his face so he could have free hands, shoved him into the vacant hallway. As he did this, the spirit box and Shane both yelled at Ryan with haunting unison a command that just made him even more nervous:

“Run, Ryan! Run!”

The crunching glass shards beneath Ryan’s hastened steps didn’t phase him as he did was he was asked, bolting down the hallway. He may not be as fast as Shane with his gargantuan limbs, but he was sprinting as fast as he could through the mansion-esque estate. The place was like a maze because of its large size and it took him longer than needed to find the staircase. 

But just as the steps came into view, the sound of Shane’s voice calling to him caused Ryan to veer to a screeching halt. He had placed himself dead in front of the descending staircase. If he had stopped any later he would have flung himself over the stairs, crashing to the floor below. 

“Ry, my guy! Why are you running so fast?”

The static from the spirit box was interrupted by it speaking once more.

“…It’s him…”

It had said this before, when Ryan saw the shady figure. But as he turned his head, he saw who the spirits were really warning him about.   
At the end of the hall Ryan saw Shane, slowly walking towards him. But this time, he was different. Blood was dripping from his nose once more.

“…leave…”

The moonlight drifting in from a nearby window outlined the details of Shane’s body, setting an even more dramatic tone on the scene. Shane seems thinner than usual- only because appeared to not fit into his clothes as well as he was earlier. He realized this was because a pair of long, red wings ripped through the back of his shirt as they almost dragged behind him, upsetting the fabric placement. Shane now had a tail, sounding like a whip as it smacked against the walls of the house…maybe it was a warning shot. 

“...go, now!...”

Shane’s face was demented. Instead of his normal pearly whites, his teeth were replaced with a disgustingly sharp fangs accompanied by a forked tongue hanging out of his mouth like a dog. Long red horns emerged from his forehead, appearing to irritate the skin they rested on. It looked like his skin was burning and blistering, melting away the flesh of his friend to reveal a monstrosity inside. 

“Are you leaving? Without ya boy, Shane?”

While his brain went on overdrive, his body stayed still. It felt like his feet were glued to the old wood floor below. But they became unstuck when Shane gripped Ryan by the collar of his jacket and holding him up to eye level. 

Ryan was at a loss for words as a demon stared into his soul with its soulless, black eyes. 

“You’ll pay for this, Bergara.”

Ryan knew Shane was never the kind of person to win any strength contests. Yes he was tall, but he was as thin and breakable as a twig. So he never would suspect his best friend to have the strength to throw him, as if he was a rag doll, down the entire flight of stairs. 

The back of his head hit the front door with a loud thud. Then his body hit the floor as he reeled in pain and tried his best to regain consciousness. But his vision began to leave him. 

The last thing Ryan remembered was looking up and seeing the outline of his ghoul hunting companion equipped with horns, wings and whip-like tail that belonged to Satan himself. Then he saw nothing. 

At first, the light was blinding but as the long minutes ticked by as he slowly woke up. It took Ryan a moment to finally realize how he was feeling. Or how he wasn’t feeling anything. It was like he had left his mortal flesh behind to become a being of light and feeling. But that faded away too. 

The ceiling was made up of tiles that reflected the light that was already illuminating the room to a blinding point. Eventually his eyes adjusted, and his brain slowly began to process what had happened. He was in a hospital. 

Ryan stirred as he woke up from his heavy sleep, rubbing the grime from his tired eyes. His bed was pressed into a corner, accompanied by a small machine that beeped rhythmically without fail. Across the room was a small and stiff chair that had Shane seated in it. 

He was as white as a ghost, but as his gaze met Ryan’s he finally regained some color. He expelled a small and excited “Ryan!” before heading to his side and popping a squat. 

“What happened?”  
Ryan’s quick hiss was sharp as it reverberated through the room, stinging Shane’s ears with his hollow tone. 

“You fell down some stairs while I was doing my solo session in a bedroom. You’ve been out cold for a little while now, buddy.”

A wave of relief washed over Ryan, the whole ‘Shane is a demon’ thing must have been a dream. And an oddly specific and vivid dream though. He could still remember every detail with a crisp sense of haste if need be. 

He let out a relieved and slightly pained chuckle as his hand that wasn’t jabbed with an IV needle wiped some sweat from his brow. 

“I think when I smacked my head against a door it messed with some of my memories. I had this dream where you… threw me down the stairs. Like- you got possessed or something, I don’t know. It sounds crazy when I say it out loud.”

When he turned over to look at Shane, he was greeted with a cold and contemplative gaze. This situation clearly made the air in the room stand still with anticipation and worry. He had no reason to take a beat and think about what he was going to say if it wasn’t a lie. 

The mattress shifted as Shane sunk a hand into the bedside and gripped at the sheets Ryan was laying on. It was like he was restraining himself, forcing his energy into his hand that was placed on the bedding under Ryan’s lovehandle. But the silence was broken by a sentence that slipped from Shane’s lips, seemingly by accident. 

“You weren’t supposed to remember that.”


End file.
